My natural hair color. The waves are a gift of menopause. Who knew?!
I have actually thought a lot about aging gracefully in recent years. I fought aging until about age 48… not to the botox level, but trying every new wrinkle cream out there. Of course I eat well and try to exercise, which helps. But I wouldn’t say I was particularly graceful about it. And then my friend Peg got sick.
Peg—the picture of health, never overweight, ate well, exercised thoughtfully—got uterine cancer. And we thought she had gotten over it. And then it came back, in spades. Stage IV. Zero percent chance of survival.
Peg, while tiny, is a force to be reckoned with, and she did not accept her diagnosis. Instead she found a local healing center, moved in for six months, and completely changed her life, her diet, and even her name. See Peg’s healing story here.
The old me, with highlights and lowlights, and my Consultant’s ‘Do
This had a profound effect on me, and not just because she is such a good friend. She eagerly passed on all that she was learning about toxins in our environment and how they affect us. Her journey was one reason I shifted to a plant-based diet and got rid of nearly all of my cosmetics, lotions, and potions. And I stopped coloring my hair.
I’m lucky, because my hair color is kinda groovy, and I know from my Auntie Ruth that it will continue to go a lighter and lighter apricot on my way to gray. I stopped fighting the waves, and had my hairdresser cut it to bring out the curl. And I decided that I feel good with long hair, despite what the conventional wisdom is. So I ditched the haircut I “should” have and let it morph into my long hippy hair.
I also decided to stop worrying about my wrinkles. Because truthfully, once the estrogen starts leaving your body, no amount of face cream makes one bit of difference.
Honestly, are you focusing on the wrinkles and dark circles under my eyes? Or do you see a woman really happy to be in Hawai’i?
Would I like to see fewer wrinkles in the mirror? Sure.
Would I like to look down at my knees and see firmer skin there?
Yes. Yes I would.
But when I see beautiful older women, they have wrinkles and laugh lines and they exude an inner light. And that’s free.
I try to see myself through my husband’s eyes, who doesn’t see that I have aged one bit since we met more than 15 years ago.
I am so grateful to be healthy and to have a healthy husband. I am so grateful to have been given 51-and-three-quarter-years. I am not going to pretend I’m younger or apologize for my age… I’m going to celebrate it.
How do you feel about aging? Are you embracing it?
I agree with your husband, I can’t tell that you’ve aged since I’ve met you, either. My hair has gotten curlier with age too, and I like it, as well as my silver. Just reluctantly gave away my favorite curl enhancer , because of the wheat proteins in it… do you use anything to encourage curls?
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. You are beaYOUtiful inside and out. I also think it’s important as women to surround ourselves with positive people. This is something I didn’t learn until I turned 40. I like that I have a partner that doesn’t believe in plastic surgery, injections, or any extreme measure to turn back the clock.
Like everyone else has said, you are beautiful and have an inner glow. You also remind me a little of Bonnie Raitt in the top photo.
Curls Rule! It’s only taken me 56 years to be able to talk the talk with that one! I hid mine for years! Almost 20 years ago, when I met my husband, he acted like he had won the lottery when he discovered I was hiding curly hair….I haven’t gone back to the hot dangerous irons since! And I can successfully pass off the grey as blond highlights……
You’ve nailed it…there is really nothing we can do about the wrinkles and sagging neck…but we can face all if it with GRATITUDE…that is youthful, and inspiring! Good post!
Inspiring – on many levels. (Your hair is lovely.) Like you, I find that having hair a little longer makes me feel great – feminine.
That inner light. I think it’s something we all aspire to. Where it comes from? Hard to say.
I’m not sure I’m embracing it. Accepting it, maybe? Well, in a way embracing the fact that I’ll never be younger than I am now, and I feel pretty terrific almost all of the time. So many of the fears and worries I had as a young woman have left me, fading away along with the estrogen. I’m bolder and braver, and more adventurous, and less frightened by what other people think of me. But I swim against the stream of atrophy and entropy that I know will one way swamp me. That I fight. Every day. By eating right, and pushing my body.
But I’m going to keep coloring my hair. Sadly I don’t have a lovely aunt with apricot hair to hope after. I’ll be blond until they put me in the grave.
You look beautiful. I’ve started noticing beautiful women in their 80s and 90s, too — I love that inner light!
You are beautiful. I didn’t see any wrinkles, but I love your smile and your hair. Maybe the menopause fairy will be good to me and give me waves, too.
You look VERY happy to be in Hawaii (as I wish I were). And I love your hair!
I too try to be full of gratitude and also try not to take my health for granted. Beautiful words.
So true. The people who truly love you, see you for you. They don’t see the wrinkles or the grey hair. Great post.
Love your hair. Interesting how hair becomes such a talked about issue as we age. Mine is shoulder length and I am seriously considering letting it grow longer. I want a long braid pulled over to one shoulder.
I also have a friend who had stage 4 cancer. She is doing well now – even surfing. She is one of the most beautiful people I know. Every day is a glowing miracle.
I know, I remember seeing an interview with Dyan Cannon who talked about keeping her hair long because she felt more beautiful that way.
So glad your friend is out surfing. That rocks! “A glowing miracle…” indeed.
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Oh, I love that pick of you with your lovely hair, that great dog, and the fallen leaves behind you. I’m developing a girl crush on you! I also like how you are declaring your value “as is” in this post. I agree. Mature women have a natural beauty that they need to claim. They need to quit covering it up, quit trying to recreate beauty of another era. It doesn’t work! This is a great post. Love it!
Thanks Karen. Daisy is a sweetie and our hair matches, so the leaves really worked for both of us. :)
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It’s amazing how illness or disability, our own or others’, can really put things into perspective. I think you look amazing–and I can see the love of life shining through. That’s the main thing, right?
Karen
Yes, perspective is everything.
I too, went from pin straight hair to wavy/wrinkled in my 30’s. I love that you, also, embrace what is coming naturally. I hate to see women who so desperately try to cling to their youth that they just don’t see that all the plastic surgery is morphing them into looking like a komodo dragon or the mask of the face of the “Saw” character.
Thank you for a great read!
Aging beats the alternative but truthfully, it’s all about WHAT you do each day, not how you look. If you are an engaged, active and aware participant in life, well frankly, there’s too much to get done in the years you have left. At least for me. For me old means being stuck, negative, fearful ; one can be old at fifteen. Young means alert, smart, giving, tolerant, innovative, engaged. When you look in the mirror, you see what your heart and soul tells you to see. If I see beautiful inside me, people tell me I am beautiful. It’s in the eye of the beholder. And behold I am beautiful when I know I am.
Joanna, I agree 100%
After I gave birth to my second child, I had major baby blues. I was all of 30 year’s old. I thought I was ancient and had nothing to look forward to doing. Imagine! Fast forward 32 years, and I can look back and see how ridiculous I was. I am also dealing with letting my hair grown out naturally. But then, I panic and color it. I love your hair long, wavy and the color is really pretty. Good for you!
Ah, yes, if we could all go back and kick some sense into our younger selves, so that we would SEE our beauty.
I agree with you completely. I do use some creams, but only because I have extremely dry skin.
Janie, I should have clarified… I’m not talking about regular moisturizing, which is still key. I’m talking about buying into the magical newest cream with the airbrushed model advertising it, when I should know better. I mostly use organic coconut and sesame oil now.
Oh, I love this post! I feel exactly the same way about aging. I joke that if not for my blepharitis and dry eyes (which prohibit eye surgery, according to my opthalmologist) I might have considered a facelift. I think it’s shameful that our society is creating an entire generation who think that older women are SUPPOSED to look like someone stretched Saran Wrap across their faces (and don’t get me started on the soccer ball breasts)! ;-)
I would say that I’m embracing aging . . . sort of. I truly love how much freer it feels and how much less focused I am on what people will think of me or whether or not I have the same toys as my friends. It’s allowed me to become more of my authentic self (whom I kinda like) and not worry about what I’m saying or doing all the time, as long as I know what I do isn’t hurting someone else (and is, ideally, helping someone else). But the physical aspects. . . well, I could do without restricted movement, daily pain, extra dry skin, and, of course, those lovely wrinkles you mentioned. On the upside, I’ve been attempting to spend more time with those I love and do the things in life that truly matter to me. As my dad always used to say, “if only I could have my current self inside my 35 year-old body”–there would be no stopping any of us that way, I suppose!
Thanks Ricki. I found you to be glowing and beautiful in person. I would like to have my 30-year-old body back. Unless it was a Logan’s Run scenario. :)